-I ran out of steam on the music content. I mean, I like talking about music, but writing about it on any kind of consistent basis in the manner I did was difficult, especially as the newer albums I’ve found have switched from meaningful emotional content to just being lewd and fun. However, the experience I gained from these reviews has gone into something else.

-The Broken Lampcast is still going, I just don’t update this blog about it. We’re taking a small break at the moment because Jastaz (cohost) moved to Ohio and he’s still getting settled.

-I’m starting a website in the summer. It will be about video games. More on that in the future.

-I don’t know what to do with this blog anymore as a result of all these developments. I’m not a big fan of big whiny posting about my personal life- or, hell, posting ANYTHING about my personal life. I’m an intensely private person through years of getting burned while trying to express myself- so this blog doesn’t currently serve a practical purpose.

-I got sick on day two of the album thing, and ended up not being able to complete it. Now I have school and I don’t have the time to work on that at the moment. Spring break will be fast approaching, and I’ll try to work on it again then.

That’s it.

I made a promise, like I am apt to do, to have my album recorded within the next ten days, since there are only ten songs on the album. If I don’t have it done, my buddy Rowr will be able to change my statuses and other terrible things to shame me for not finishing the stupid thing. Keeping in mind, though, that I am only talking about having the songs recorded, and not released. After they are recorded, I’ll need to meditate on a name, transcribe it in case it ever becomes necessary, see about cover art (I have a few names in mind) and apply for Creative Commons. So while the album is finished, it’s probably not going to be available until February. That’ll at least give me time to listen to it over and over and consider the mixing.

So, real quick, I’m going to put up a track list, mostly so I can keep it as a running tally of what songs are done.

The album is currently untitled, and I refuse to self title an album, so something will probably end up appearing soon. I have a few bouncing around in my head

1. They Already Won
2. Speak Lightly
3. Right Hand Drive
4. Of Empathy As A Male Trait
5. European With American Hours
6. That’d Be The Mists
7. Think About This Later
8. I Didn’t
9. They Already Won (Reprise)

Italics mean finished.

Each of the songs have a kind of interesting circumstance for me, so I’m going to try my best to give a back story on the creation of the song while not really discussing it’s meaning to me. I mean, what’s the point in art if there’s only one correct interpretation?

So the first song, “They Already Won”, is done, and has been for a little while now. It’s a rough, ethereal electronic tune that was born out of my first weekend with having my production tools fully functional. The song it started as was radically different, too. The feel of the song, originally, was like a big thumping dub song, with pounding bass and scattershot drums. I ended up keeping the drums, but within the course of a day, the song started as one thing and ended completely differently. It only recently had a meaning attatched to it, which’ll come up when the time to talk about the reprise surfaces.

The creation of the song was also the birth of my aesthetic towards the variance of a song, and the idea of what a song needs. It’s only three instrument tracks, swirling around each other and spacing themselves widely away from each other. When I had the sounds I wanted, I knew right then and there that I had everything I needed to call this song finished, to call it mine. While some of the songs are limited by resources- not having a proper drum kit- I feel absolutely secure that I have everything I need to make these songs complete.

DAY 2

So Day 1 and 2 are gonna go up on the same day, since I forgot to post Day 1. Let’s look at the track list.

1. They Already Won
2. Speak Lightly (Recording)
3. Right Hand Drive
4. Of Empathy As A Male Trait
5. European With American Hours
6. That’d Be The Mists
7. Think About This Later
8. I Didn’t
9. They Already Won (Reprise)

Speak Lightly. I had the song completely written up months ago, and felt wonderfully comfortable with what I had written down. I came back months later, and looked at the writing I had at the top of the sheet, and… couldn’t make heads or tails of it. It’s complete tonal gibberish that was fascinatingly ugly, and I’m not sure how I could ever have intended that to be recorded if it was ever even close to that. I recorded a rendition of it to serve as an intro and bridge, twisting it around to help slide into the actual content of the album in comparison to the bouncy, “having fun on a cloudy day” feel of They Already Won.

So, essentially, I wrote a song today. It’s not beautiful, but, I’d be concerned if it was. It’s an introduction to both my vocals (one of a few things I have left to record) and percussion (also). It’ll likely be the first test of the listener, too, to see if they’re that interested. I know that, for me, a bad singer can ruin everything, and while I’m not a bad singer, taste is taste. I’m going to expel that now and try to just record it.

It’s also the first time I’ve had to record final takes on instruments, with metronomes and all that. I’ve no reason to lie: I’m not a great musician. I’m only slightly better than some. So what the songs are consisting of are cobbled together from multiple takes of the same sections until it feels good to me. If I ever perform this, I intend to hire actual musicians and just sing, since I don’t really trust a lot of people with my lyrics. Delivery is everything.

Man, it’s going to be weird to face people who’ve heard the album. It’s something I’ve had bottled inside so long, and it’s so many… odd stories that I wish I knew now how they’ll react. That’s one of the things that really excite me about the whole process, and one of the things I’m looking forward to seeing when it’s all finished.

Back to work.

December 26th!
-LOTS OF PODCAST Part 1
-“Wistful Wit A Fist-Full” by Frank Zappa
-Same Socket Wrench, Different Day
-45 Minute Tutorial, Immediate Punishment
-Dave’s hairbrained idea
-There’s Abdullah, Where’s He Hiding?
-Talk To Coyotes
-The Line
-Tamagotchi Sex
-epilogue plzkthx
-Besides, all we were going to do was make penises anyways.

2008 Year of the Games Awards!
-LOTS OF PODCAST Part 2
-“All World Cowboy Romance” by Mission of Burma
-MGS4 Spoilers from 2:41 to 6:37
-Dave’s time capsule
-Coming Soon: Fuck Halo
-The 2008 Year of the Games!
-Thanks to dankempster, insanejedi_or_bubblewhip, carp, brukaoru, & Matt Bodega, not in that order, for sending stuff in for the 2008 Year of the Games.
-I actually forgot to mention this, but next episode is going to be Civilization based. That’s Civ4, CivRev, and Colonization if I can get my hands on it. Also, Zune Games.

January 2nd!
-Libsyn gave us shit the first two times we uploaded this, so hopefully, it’ll work now.
-“Race For The Prize” by Flaming Lips
-Welcome to 200-Fine
-Sniper Dongs
-World’s Worst World of Goo Review
-Defining goals and strategies
-David the Half-A-Dave
-DURR GURR AH STURR
-Using specific terms to indicate one’s definitions of success and outlining how to achieve them
-Everything goes to hell
-Broken Lamp’s Low Carb Cooking Corner

The Album Still Growing On Me
Lil Wayne – Tha Carter III
Podcast Song: “A Milli” 

Last year, when I put this together, within about five months of posting it, Yeasayer came to my attention, and LCD Soundsystem had really grown on me with more listens. This year, I’m setting aside a space to say the album that is most likely going to do this for me. That’s “Tha Carter III” by Lil Wayne. Of course, he’s kind of a big deal in popular music right now. I’m not entirely sure why this is, because the man seems eccentric on levels that are usually reserved for rock stars. I think this is the reason he crosses over with indie kids like myself.

The thing that’s going to keep me coming back isn’t the beats- although the album has a laundry list of top producers, like Swizz Beatz, Kanye, and David Banner- or the lyrics. Rather, the way that Wayne uses his voice is utterly captivating. He’s got a bizarre manner of speech that I can’t do justice to. It sounds slurred and clumsy, but somehow he uses it as the source of all his powers. He twists his voice around the songs and the ideas like a method actor taking to a script, and it’s amazing to listen to. I’m going to be listening to this more and more through the end of the year, and we’ll see this time next year if I have to rewrite the list because the album’s that good. It’s certainly deserving of the critical attention it gets.

Vampire Weekend – self titled
Podcast Song: “M79” 

In music, one of the key factors of the experience is being reminded of other musicians. It’s reflexive, the comparison of bands to one another, and it helps people comfortably discuss the music. It’s no wonder, then, that Vampire Weekend caught on as well as they did, as quickly as they did. The music is reminiscent of all kinds of different mainstays in pop from the USA, from brief brushes with reggae and punk to the alternative music genre of the 80s and 90s. At the same time, Vampire Weekend is able to integrate elements of all these musical highlights, and still unify them behind a singular creative voice and tone.

The album is not about being morose, or using music to get over hardship. Rather, it’s about having fun no matter the situation. It’s about confronting life with cautious optimism, and letting what happens happen. Sometimes the situations are a little more messed up than others, but it helps to have a song in your heart all throughout, to make the work easier. The album is a collection of some songs that you could definitely keep in your heart.

TV on the Radio – Dear Science
Podcast Song: “Golden Age” 

TV On The Radio is one of the bands that inspired me to make this album review thing a repeated and important thing for me. In 2006, I missed their album “Return to Cookie Mountain” and Gnarls Barkley’s “St. Elsewhere” (which is one of my favorite albums ever). Since then, I vowed to do my best to not miss such big releases, and to stay in touch with what’s happening in music. So when I accidentally discovered there was a new TV on the Radio record being released, I made sure that I wouldn’t miss it in such a fashion as I did previously.

Dear Science has a unique kind of status for me this year; every other album that I had time to look forward to ended up disappointing me. From Melvins, to Kanye, to David Byrne and Brian Eno, every time I got any kind of excitement for music, I was rewarded with things below what I was expecting, and a sense of wasted time. Only Dear Science has avoided this distinction. Even without thinking about the album it’s following- a useless endeavor for sure- Dear Science is a fine portrait of the American Experience through the eyes of the more eccentric minds of the country. It doesn’t hurt some of the songs have seemed to get strength- “Golden Age” has developed a strange power since the election, feeling more anthemic than it felt at first.

Omar Rodriguez Lopez – Calibration (Is Pushing Luck & Key Too Far)
Podcast Song: “Calibration” 

Omar, of the Mars Volta, released some six albums this year, if you were to count the great grab bag of a Mars Volta album, “The Bedlam in Goliath”. Quite honestly, it took a lot of work to go through all of them, but I honestly feel better for it; I have a better understanding of the man and his outlook than I had before I heard the albums. The six albums released spread over the decade so far, recorded in different time frames and gathering the urgency needed to be released proper.

So what makes Calibration the album that stands out of these four solo efforts and a reinvigorated Mars Volta? Calibration is by far the most complete vision of all of them. As if it were a spiritual successor to Tremulant, Calibration sheds speed for crushing groove, and complicated architecture for spiritual power. A majority of the songs are brief expansions upon strong themes, instead of unifications of multiple themes being forced to stand together (Cassandra Gemini comes to mind). The effect created is not unlike walking down a street and looking at people, wondering who they are and what they’re about. Songs grow in enormity and strength as the album progresses, peaking twice; first with the powerhouse title track, and the only song to feature Cedric Zavala on vocals (he’s sampled later in the album, though). The song crushes with its pace as Omar’s guitar and Cedric’s vocals stand clear amongst the swirling instruments below. The second peak is “Cortar El Cuello”, a haunting solo piece of multiple guitars dancing around each other. It’s calm and smoothly dissonant, tapping into Omar’s love to fuel the dance as it slowly moves towards a decomposition, a frustrated howl of sound. It only makes sense that this song is followed by a revisiting of the powerful “Calibration”, a sign of the self assuredness Omar has in his own structure and music.

Jay Reatard – ’08 Matador Singles
Podcast Song: “Always Wanting More” 

Concept albums are the bane of my existence. It’s not because of the idea of a thematically similar album, but rather, it’s the deluge of albums that are about something very specific. It’s harder for me to get a grip on what I think the album is out when I know there’s a right answer. There are alternatives to these kinds of albums- either completely vague works or blunt as hell.

Jay Reatard spent this year releasing singles- one a month, almost. They’re rapid fire, old school garage rock sounds about all sorts of things, if traditional subjects. Heart break, alienation, indignance, and fury are all voiced by Reatard’s high register. The audio quality is a little shoddy, but it just adds to the feeling of the album as compartmentalized songs. By releasing these songs one after another, and clinging to basic structure, Jay has built a wall of music. It’s resilient, prominent, aged, weathered, and most importantly, entirely unambiguous. It would be difficult to be confused by what Jay is talking about and the music that backs him up. Complexity is overrated anyways.

Girl Talk – Feed The Animals
Podcast Song: “What It’s All About” 

I used to like Robot Chicken. There was a point where the writing began to annoy me, but at first, the idea of all of these bizarre sketches and skews of popular culture, one after another, was greatly enjoyable. It was a very strange way to look at things. While I wouldn’t go as far to suggest Girl Talk was inspired by Robot Chicken, they do same a similar schizophrenic sense of culture. Where Robot Chicken twists cartoons and movies around, Girl Talk weaves a complex wave out of pop music. No song contains less than a dozen samples, and they range from all over the world of pop music.

The album starts with UGK’s “International Player’s Anthem” over “Gimme Some Lovin’” by the Spencer Davis Group and “Oh, Pretty Woman” by Roy Orbison.  It’s a running theme- gangsta rap on top of totally inappropriate sounding music that is pitch shifted until it sounds perfect. It’s scattershot, but somehow, it’s always great. Even songs that I couldn’t stand that make their way onto the album are fun and bouncy. And, like any good dance album, there’s no breaks what so ever. I keep using the word fun to describe the album, and that’s because there’s not a better way to describe it. There’s nothing that sounds quite like it, and very little that’s so easy to come back to.

Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago
Podcast Song: “Flume” 

Although self released the year before, “For Emma” is an intensely personal affair. The story of the album is well documented, and will be briefly reviewed now; Justin Vernon experienced a litany of heartbreaks and frustrations over 2006, and in 2007, he went into seclusion, to a Wisconsin cabin. He wanted to get away from the entire world, and making music no less, but in that seclusion, this album was recorded. It would be easy to downplay that story were the music not perfectly suited to such a mood. Within the tender melodies and soft, unorthodox guitar playing, there’s always an air of isolation that pulls you in. The album flows as if you had gone up to Justin’s cabin itself, as he was starting all of this, and just quietly observing the man pouring his soul out while sitting on the front porch.

The lyricism swirls in and out of basic love stories and more surreal situations, but every word is as serene and legitimate as the music itself. Whether it’s an expansion on the meaning of adulthood, as in “Flume”, or a tale of a scarring, but maliceless, loss of a love in the howling, pathetically gorgeous “Skinny Love”, the music flows and builds around itself. The simplicity of the music expands, layering onto itself until it crescendos at the marching dedication of the title track. Horns swirl, drums pound, a slide guitar sings out, and Justin responds. But the candle is brightest before it burns it out, and the album closes with “Re: Stacks”, a silken, simple song of guitar and song. Continuing the metaphor, this is leaving the same way you came, knowing that as you leave, these songs will remain in their little mountain home, in case you ever want to come back. The words this trip ends with are of great comfort, and sung with the same care that is shown through the entire creation of this album; “Your love will be safe with me.”

I visited pretty often this year.

Abe Vigoda – “Skeleton”
Podcast Song: “Dead City/Waste Wilderness” 

I remember last year, when I spent three paragraphs or so saying “Battles is Awesome” over and over again, I mentioned that I was incredibly excited for what the future held now that this album was out, and exposed so other acts would have a chance. At the same time, I knew a lot of people would be stuck within the same structures and types of music, which is fine when they were done well. When I first found No Age, I read a lot about them, and their scene and music label. I gave a quiet chuckle on seeing the name Abe Vigoda, and after a few days of thought, I decided to give this album a shot.

“Thrilled” puts it lightly. The album is the most colorful laser beam ever recorded: It’s focused, with singular aim, but it swirls wildly and unpredictably on its way through. If there is a criticism to be had, it’s that the unpredictability of the beats makes it incredibly hard to dance to on the first listen. What helps, though, is that I found it very hard to not listen repeatedly.

Where Battles would slow down and build with that kind of dance music philosophy in mind, Abe Vigoda howls and blasts ruthless impatience out of the speakers. They don’t have time for people to come around and gradually pay attention to what they’re doing. The album’s opener, “Dead City/Waste Wilderness” lays all of its cards on the table in about 25 seconds, opening with a crushing chord and crash cymbals, almost as if they were trying to make as much noise as possible in the first second of the album without vocals as possible. The guitars swirl muddily around each other, but they are spaced out brilliantly. It’s as if it was written for a vocal choir, the ranges of the instruments are so deliberately plotted.

The album is also helped by a frankly brilliant band player of a drummer. Establishing rhythm without overshadowing the rest of the band, and keeping that rhythm almost machine like in it’s tightness. The drum kit itself is incredibly minimalist, in comparison to the vast sound of the two guitars; in performances, its maybe four to six pieces, but the skill that the kit is handled with is awe inspiring. The vocals, muddled like the rest of the instruments, suffer from this, since the lyrics are catchy and fascinating all the same. The title track is a pretty excellent example for me; I sing the song when I’m passing time, it’s so deeply ingrained into my head now. If only it was easier to dig out.

The Mae Shi – HLLLYH
Podcast Song – “Pwn’d” 

I have always been a sucker for wild, screaming rock and roll. The first song I remember hearing was Led Zeppelin’s “The Ocean”, and the first album I remember buying was Pearl Jam’s “Yield”. There’s all sorts of other facets of music that interest me, like genre fusion or attempting to make progressive more like something a common man would make instead of a scholar. But no matter what, I will flock to wild, screaming rock and roll if it catches my ear.

The Mae Shi is pretty obviously from California, since they use a lot of songwriting devices that have deep cultural penetration down here, like high pitched wailing, oppressive cymbal filled drumming, easy call and response, and the same perversion of surf & garage rock that every guitar teacher teaches. However, as easily as they pull from all these sources, the Mae Shi adds a unique energy and electronic touch to their music. The result is a perfect example of what I believe Californian aesthetic to be, and what it is at its finest.

I had heard that the album is a concept album, about the Book of Revelations. Having not read the bible, I can’t speak to that. The ideas of God and Death float around constantly, though, even though the tunes are chipper and floaty most of the time. What’s as important as the lyrical content is the music, and the music is earthshaking, both in volume and in energy. Even the slow song on the album, “I Get Almost Everything” has a complete freak-out in the middle of it, as jarring as the louder, faster songs. Barring the two song intermission, everything is done with this bouncing, wide eyed enthusiasm, even if the lyrics veer towards the more grim sides of things. In a year mostly devoid of rock power, Mae Shi stand out above the rest.

Man Man – Rabbit Habits
Podcast Song – “Top Drawer” 

When I put out the mixtape, I left a song in the RAR file on my blog that I didn’t mean to put in. I decided to slide it into the mixtape I put up as well, on my iTunes feed. The song was “Poor Jackie”, by Man Man. It was an expansive, vaudevillian kind of thing, swaying through the speakers. The reason I wasn’t broken up that it was left in is because it’s an utterly fantastic song. It also happens to be a decent representation of half of the album, as did the other song of theirs on the mix, “Doo Right.” They represent a sort of cabaret gone wrong, a style of sound that, until now, I’d ever heard from Tom Waits. And while that’s enjoyable, the more fascinating parts of the album for me come from a bizarre take on roots rock, fueled by the lead singer’s horrifyingly rough voice. From the two openers- the slamdance inspiring Mister Jung Stuffed, and the pounding march of “Hurly/Burly”- to the soaring “Harpoon Fever”, Man Man’s got a depth to their music that’s unusual.

The lyrics, also, are of particular note for me. Filled with zingers and brilliance, it makes listening to every song again and again even easier. I’m sort of short on words for the album, since all I want to do is make some heavy handed analogy of “if Gogol Bordello were on Island Records in the 80s.” It bears listening to, since it stands so bravely between the art rock that tickles my fancy, and timeless doo wop sounds.

Fleet Foxes – self-titled LP
Podcast Song: “Ragged Wood” 

Beauty is a weird subject for me. I see it in places where a lot of people don’t, and I don’t see it in apparently obvious places. Sometimes a small strip of flowers surrounded by concrete on all sides will, or a doorknob, move me more than a pretty girl or a painting. In fact, more often than not, this is the case. And when it comes to music, things get even more complicated; if you’ve noticed anything from the music on the list, it’s probably the singers and their voices. They aren’t often classically trained, or even smooth. I extol these virtues as what they lack in ability to match tones with silky perfection, they make up for in spirit- the two albums prior to this one are good examples of this tendency in my musical interests. However, some times the beauty is so goddamn obvious and vast that it’d be impossible not to list.

This album is such a thing. From the very start to the very end, it’s laced with a tragic, gorgeous melancholy. Interwoven harmonies and traditional American music swell underneath the stories sung in serenely powerful melodies. “Sun It Rises” is a fantastic introduction to the album, speaking sweetly of the time before something starts, of waking up with someone and something to look forward to. The album starts, thusly, with “White Winter Hymnal”, a beautiful little tune that almost serves as a waking dream, envisioning fairly grim things in an idyllic little world. When “Ragged Wood” starts, after being introduced to the palettes the artists will draw from, the full power of it is jarring, and remains such even after multiple listens.

The album, to my way of understanding it, is mostly of family and longing; love songs that aren’t about mating, but just about company and comfort. To appropriate the Four Loves, the album concerns storge- affection. Be it the absence, reception, or pursuit of, each song colors pictures of a man- although it’s never been expressly stated if the album is one cohesive narrative, and I wouldn’t presume it to be so- who is losing people dear to him, one by one. Maybe the names inserted are just for rhythm, but there is certain tenderness to the music that casts doubts on this.

His opinion of these losses never seems to be directly passionate or overly emotional. He sings not of hate, and if there is remorse in the songs, it’s from the tone of the lead singer’s voice, and not through actual words. Instead of expressing such things, expressing his experiences takes more precedent, leaving the story’s meaning up to the listener. But this is only if the listener chooses to explore these stories, and it’s a journey that doesn’t need to be made. There is plenty within the music to focus upon and let wash over you. Maybe the waters will take something away from the listener with the tide, or maybe it’ll push a message in a bottle into their hands. All the listener really needs to do is submerge themselves into the sea, into this album, from time to time.

Please listen to this album. However you can find it is fine, as long as you hear it.

This gets really personal, so if you don’t want to read, you can spare yourselves. It’s just a collection of thoughts and moments I’ve had from this year, and I need to get better about sharing this stuff. Some of it is disturbing, some of it is morbid, and some of it’s both. Regular art/entertainment content resumes tomorrow.

Back a few months ago, on some podcast, one of the people asked if this year was going to be called 200-Great, or 200-Hate. Of course, nothing is ever really that clear cut. But, it’s a funny enough joke, and I find that a lot of the stories I have from this year have bits of both. I guess that’s this hindsight thing. So we’re gonna start with the nasty drama stories, and then I’m going to get into more positive things. I’ll put HAPPY STARTS HERE when that time arrives.

I guess the largest story I have from this year is watching a bridge burn. Figuratively, of course- although I did set a Christmas tree on fire for my birthday, and that was awesome. Anyways, I’m going to try to put this as diplomatically as possible: At the end of last year, I tried a vaguely more intimate relationship with a friend of mine of many, many years. She was a vice and a muse all at once, and for a brief amount of time, our wavelengths clicked and we probably understood each other better than we ever had for that nice amount of time. Then, the bloom fell off the rose, and issues started appearing- I’m not afraid to admit I’m needy, and she lost her patience with this. I, on the other hand, lost my patience with the walls she put up keeping people from helping her or being a part of her life. These fights got a lot harsher, and after the explosion at the end of it, she decided it wasn’t working and I reluctantly agreed. We tried to remain friends for a while, but things got more awkward. I began to alienate her inner circle- in one instance, rather suddenly after a traumatic event which I’ll get to later- and we grew a little more distant. There was a hopeful period for a few weeks there, and then she did something- the exact details of what aren’t worth recapping, but they’re not really bad- and we had a lesser fight over it. A few days later, I asked if I was out of second chances, and she said “You have fucked up royally, yes.” So I took that to mean yes, and decided not to grovel .We grew further apart. Then, she started sniping at me- even though I reminded her she’s the only one with malice- and trying to get me to argue with her. Eventually, when her friends started in on it- one of them justifiably, I’ll confess- I just left the little community they called home.

I’m still trying to figure out what to make of it. I’m getting better at recognizing when something isn’t working, at least, and when I shouldn’t be somewhere. At the same time, it’s taught me a lot of really key lessons; that I have to be my own support base, whatever that entails. Some people just don’t want to hear it, and I’m an exceptionally melancholy man, so streaming that into anyone’s life can wear a little thin. I also got a chance to see what being needlessly oppositional looks like from the other side of things, and I’m guilty of that, so I’m doing my best to change it. I’ve learned there are parts of my personality that absolutely need to stay hidden, because people won’t really understand them. Well, okay, they will understand, since they’re not complicated ideas, but they’re undesirable ideas. Thirdly, NEVER to discuss my aesthetic and my songwriting- lyric writing especially- with anyone, ever again. She was an illustrator, and our artistic ideas wildly clashed, which was often where friction came in as “what you like sucks” turned into “you suck” in pretty short order. Over all, the experience has left a huge empty hole in my life, and I’d lie if I said things like “I don’t miss her” or “I‘m not mad at her”, but I know I can’t go back there. I’m learning things from looking into that hole, and I’m starting to fill it up.

No good transition, sorry. The second major event in my life is that the man who bought me my first bass, and encouraged me to make music, is dying of cancer right now. He is quite a man, as well. I don’t know how much of his story I really should tell, but I would say he’s lived a full life for sure. His voice has a real rasp to it now that haunts me when I think about him. Although, he still looks healthy, but he’s just recently started chemotherapy, so that’s probably changed. My mother has come completely unglued and vulnerable because of this, a little more immediately than she did when my father died- which she’s only now started to grieve, four years after the fact. I understand why, though; she’s known my uncle- her older brother- her whole life, and this is a very trying experience for her, and for me. The man had saved my soul, and, frankly, if it wasn’t for my music- and two of my friends (my brother from another mother, and my now-ex)- I would be a teenage suicide statistic.

He’s trusted me to record his songs. Two other family members as well- one a music major, and I’m not sure why the third, because I’ve never heard her make music- but I share some of this burden. I’m not sure if he knows what I make, or how I do things, but he has a vague idea of what interests me in music, and yet he trusts me anyways. This is going to be my rite of passage as a musician- as an artist- and I live in terror the day I get my hands on those songs. I guess the upside- morbid as it may be- is that he won’t really be able to rip me apart if I do something wrong.

Let’s move on before that gets more awkward.

The last negative, downer, trauma story I have was getting to watch my first act of brutality, and knowing it was my fault! Hi, Mai. So I took a weight training class in the spring, because I needed .5 more of a PE credit for my GE degree. Everything was going well, if boringly, until I figured out that the leg curl machine jammed. I asked a teacher about it, and he showed me how to unjam it. It involved kicking the jammed part, and it made the leg curl part swing outwards violently. So the second time this happens, there’s two people in front of the machine. In a severe miscalculation of both trajectory and judgment, I kick the thing and it flies outwards and hits someone in the knee. Not just someone. Probably the nicest girl in the whole class. I mean, she was all smiles and could talk about anything. And I almost shattered her kneecap, like a real ladies man.

The day of the incident was sort of rough, when the teacher wasn’t sure who was at fault. She had to be taken to an ambulance. My mind and nerves just went completely haywire, and I left early. The teacher, being the most awesome man in the world, and someone who I really owe a severe amount of gratitude to, didn’t count it as an absence, which I appreciated before I threw up in a trash can, and then ran to the bus stop and got on the bus, terrified a cop car would be swinging around to ask me if I was doing anything tonight, facetiously. This is when I suddenly alienated someone in the ex’s circle, by the way. I was trying to cool off, and made some joke about how McDonalds is about as good as no food at all. She got ready to preach about how I’ve never starved like she has, and I responded with “Tuck your suffering dick back in your pants, I don’t want to have a measuring contest today.” I did apologize for this, like, four months after it happened.

The next class, though, was just hysterical in all sorts of fashions. I was always the first one outside of the gym when it came time for class, and she was always second, along with a male friend of hers. She shows up the next class to show off her crutches and huge knee brace. She explained that the crutches, though, were optional, and that a doctor suggested it “if you really want to make him feel guilty.” We spent probably ten minutes just sharing all these gruesome injury stories and laughing, while the male friend did his warm ups and occasionally glared at me as if to say “her presence is all that keeps me from jabbing a knife in your side.” I just thought it was cute, and I can’t say I blame him.

Now, this class was taught by two teachers. The first teacher was a pretty standard issue high school football coach, down to the aviator glasses and thick mustache. The second teacher was a veteran coach and trainer, who was actually going to the Olympics with, I think, the volleyball team as a trainer. I only know of his background because I was sharing this story with another friend and when I mentioned his name, he said “Oh yeah, I remember him! He was awesome; he was my track coach back in High School.” Small world. Anyways, you could tell which of these teachers had something beyond this college job to fall back on. The guy didn’t say a damn thing to me during the whole class.

When the door opened, the leg curl machine was covered, top to bottom, in yellow tape, and it had a notice that the equipment needed to be removed on the front of it. I managed a small chuckle that I know he heard. And when the next teacher came around, he told me I was off the hook, since it was negligence on the part of the school as the machine had been broken a while. It just meant that the roofing project- something the other teacher was a big fan of getting done- had to be put on hold so equipment could be replaced. That’s probably my second favorite college story, behind my music theory class asking “what’s a fraction” and the following attempt to explain fractions to 20 year olds.

HAPPY STARTS HERE

Alright! Let’s stop fucking moping! What ruled about 2008?

This blog! I was able to just write for fun for a while, and while that fell off during the finals, it’ll be coming back in a big way next year. Click on the pictures to get the files, guys.

My podcast! Started on an indignant whim, Jastaz, Dave, and I have had a real blast making it. It’s something to look forward to doing and an avenue where I can talk about video games as much as I freaking want! We’re gearing up to do end of the year shit, which you can hear about on the next podcast, and we have even bigger, and better things in the future.

Music and video games! I’ve found more awesome shit in both fields this year than I did in any other year. For once, I agree with Pitchfork’s album of the year. I’ve played games online- Horde Mode from Gears of War 2 especially- with more people, and had more fun online than ever. I found ICO and had my world flipped completely upside down, then I got a blowjob while upside down, and landed on my feet content, happy, and kinda smelly.

Dick jokes!

The United States! That whole Barack Obama thing was great! Although I’m pretty bummed on all the gay marriage stuff.

My history professor, for being the realest motherfucker in the world.

One of the bridges I burned the year for got built up behind my back, and someone I previously assumed was completely fucking crazy is only mostly crazy!

Portal jokes are starting to go away, as is the goddamn song! Way to run it into the ground!

My buddy Chaz got back from his term in the navy all safe and shit!

And, most importantly, Giant Bomb Dot Com! It’s a website! About video games! Fucking coolest website in the history of the world! It’s this huge wiki exclusively about video game stuff, with editorial content from the staff from Gamespot that got fired/left in 2007. I wrote a humongous article about Fire ProWrestling Returns, and got featured on the front page the week after the site launched. There’s comic book and anime versions of this site, but fuck them! My heart belongs to Giant Bomb! And their chat channel is full of some of the nicest, best, and most fun people I’ve ever met and played games with. One of them even put some money towards my podcast on a whim. Rock on forever, Giant Bomb. So many shout outs to give. Goddamnit, I’m going to do it!

-Pepsiman, for putting up my huge wanky Fire Pro Returns article.

-Tanuki, for being my horde mode homie and also being a robot.
-Brukaoru, for laughing at my stupid jokes and being the podcast’s #1 fan.
-Motherfucking Matt Bodega, for being the world’s most excited man re; video games, and reminding me about how awesome games are.
-Casey, for having the best gamertag the world will ever see.

-Virago, for being so, so hot.

-Rowr and Johnny5, the Australian Kings of Power 4 Billion.

-MB, for being half financial backer, half dietician and all awesome.

-Everyone that had patience with me being the worst Gears player ever. You’re welcome for the shield idea.

-And, finally, most importantly of all… crab claw.

RSS feed: http://brokenlampcast.libsyn.com

–“Gobbledigook” by Sigur Ros
–Circadian Rhythms, and What To Do When They Break
–Otacon laughs when you miss the terrorist ducks.
–Dave: Future Convict
–The Official Game of Unintuitive-ness
–Do we sell Prince Albert in a can?
–I LOVE ICO SO MUCH
–Press X to headbutt an Italian in the chest
–The Broken Lampcast presents The 2008 Year of the Games Awards
–A special surprise for people who haven’t played MGS4 yet

For once, Pitchfork and I share the best album of the year. But don’t read what they think, listen to what I think! And then read it in a few weeks.

Now that the semester’s over, I’m gonna be coming back to blog posting in a big way, so stay tuned.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=004_1229288786

Bon Iver – “For Emma, Forever Ago”
Fleet Foxes – “Fleet Foxes LP”
Man Man – “Rabbit Habits”
Omar Rodriguez-Lopez – “Calibration (…Is Pushing Luck & Key Too Far)”
Abe Vigoda – “Skeleton”
Jay Reatard – “’08 Matador Singles”
The Mae Shi – “HLLLYH”
Vampire Weekend – “Vampire Weekend”
TV on the Radio – “Dear Science”
Girl Talk – “Feed The Animals”

EDIT: Now with Youtube links for 19/21 songs, and a one-track version going up on the podcast feed, with a different 19/21 songs!

# – Artist – Song – Album
1 – Bon Iver – Skinny Love – “For Emma, Forever Ago”
2 – Fleet Foxes – Blue Ridge Mountains – “Fleet Foxes”
3 – Man Man – Doo Right – “Rabbit Habits”
4 – Mountain Goats – Heretic Pride – “Heretic Pride”
5 – Spiritualized – Death Take Your Fiddle – “Songs in A&E”
6 – Beck – Gamma Ray – “Modern Guilt
7 – Omar Rodriguez-Lopez – Cortar El Cuello – “Calibration (Is Pushing Luck & Key Too Far)”
8 – Animal Collective – Water Curses – “Water Curses EP”
9 – Abe Vigoda – Skeleton – “Skeleton”
10 – Jay Reatard – An Ugly Death – “’08 Matador Singles”
11 – The Mae Shi – Party Politics – “HLLLYH”
12 – No Age – Eraser – “Nouns”
13 – Opeth – The Lotus Eater – “Watershed”
14 – Fucked Up – Son The Father – “The Chemistry of Common Life”
15 – Vampire Weekend – One (Blake’s Got A New Face) – “Vampire Weekend”
16 – TV on the Radio – Red Dress – “Dear Science”
17 – Lil Wayne – Dr. Carter – “Tha Carter III”
18 – Kanye West – Paranoid – “808s & Heartbreak”
19 – Nine Inch Nails – Echoplex – “The Slip”
20 – Lupe Fiasco – The Coolest – “The Coolest”
21 – Girl Talk – In Step – “Feed The Animals”